THE THREE S’S OF LEADERSHIP

The biggest gift you can give yourself as a leader is stillness, silence and space. - Rich Litvin

If only I had read these words when I was an executive in the corporate world, how useful and powerful they would have been early on in my career. I recall the multitude of meetings, people walking into my office, phone calls, emails and the long list of deliverables that kept me busy. Add to that my inclination to do things "perfectly" and it translated to long hours, stress and little time for reflection.

Often, I was "busy" all day with little to show for it by the end of the week.

At some level, I knew I was missing something and yet, I found it incredibly difficult to shut off my computer at a reasonable time and walk away. Day after day, I remained "busy", chocking it up to the cost of having a senior role and paycheck.

Then I had kids and I simply didn't want to put in the same number of hours at work.

I started to prioritize more diligently, delegate more effectively and focus more actively. Having children helped me to understand that the number of hours I put in at work were not directly correlated to my results. In fact, what I found was that working less hours and broadening my experiences actually made me a more effective, empathetic and creative leader.

I got really good at starting my day quietly with paper and pen to determine what was priority for the day. Knowing that I had less time to commit to work, I focused on one thing at a time and took small, but intentional, breaks in between to re-energize. As I put my babies to sleep, I reflected on my day: what worked, what didn't, what might I try next. In the stillness of the evening, being too exhausted to do any additional work, I was often struck with an insight on a challenge I had been struggling with for days. When I allowed space to simply be, connect inward and allow my mind to settle, I started to become acutely aware of an inner wisdom that guided me, if I listened. This inner knowing or intuition offered me overwhelming clarity, inner peace and powerful insights.

I began to realize that when it came to leadership, it's not the quantity but rather the quality of hours you put in that matter.

Then, my father (my personal hero) was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

This shook me to my core. I found my mind racing forward to what might happen and how I might cope. I noticed the speed of my thoughts, the randomness of their occurrence and the impact they had to my overall stress and mood. I could feel how they had me spiral out of control and kept me in struggle - drowning in the possibilities of what might be, rather than in what actually was.

And so came my next big leadership insight - much of our stress, pressure and struggle is self-created through thought, nothing more, nothing less.

The antidote, the kryptonite to this struggle is presence through (you guessed it) stillness, space and silence.

I began to practice bringing my mind to the present moment whenever I noticed it wandering. I did this by bringing awareness to my sensations - my breathing, my feet on the floor, the air on my skin. I began bringing soft and compassionate awareness to the cycle of my thoughts and began to understand that I could notice them without engaging with them. I started to give myself space to find inner peace, rather than plough through to bury unpleasant thoughts and emotions. I embodied stillness as a way to quiet my mind. I leaned into silence as a way to be with what was.

At work, things that bothered me before had little meaning now. My inclination to doing things "perfectly" slowly dissolved as I found myself no longer engaging with those thoughts. I was more intentional in my actions. I made space for insight and reflection. I leaned into stillness to quiet my "busy" mind, knowing that it would allow a deeper wisdom to guide me to what was truly needed in the present moment.

My father has been cancer free for over 10 years now. That stage in my life was excruciatingly difficult and it was also deeply valuable - valuable because it taught me the value of presence and inner connection - the gifts that come from stillness, silence and space.

Leadership and life can seem busy, stressful and difficult - there's a lot that happens in corporations, society and in how we use technology that perpetuates this phenomenon.

In time, however, we realize that less is more when it comes to leadership. More hours actively working do not lead to success and results. Being "busy" must seize to be a badge of honour. Instead, seek stillness, silence and space in small doses to begin to make way for your creativity, wisdom and empathy to come to life. You might just notice, as I did, that you never really had to work so hard.

Warmly,

Lisa

Lisa is an Executive Coach, Founder & CEO of LDR Leadership Labs. For more from Lisa, join the LDR Leadership Community on LinkedIn at: www.linkedin.com/company/ldrleadershiplabs and sign up for the LDR Insiders Newsletter here.