I Don't Deserve to Be Here: What to Do When You Feel Like an Imposter

Have you ever felt like you don't deserve your success? Have you ever thought that someday someone might "find out you're a fraud"?

If so, you're in good company. Everyone from Maya Angelou, Albert Einstein, Jennifer Lopez, Howard Schultz to Tom Hanks have all admitted to feeling like an imposter.

I have found with my own clients that the more senior the individual, the more likely they express imposter syndrome. People don't necessarily use the term imposter syndrome or even admit to it. They may say, "I know I'm good at what I do, but..." or "I work really hard to ensure I do a good job..." or "I'm just lucky.". Other times, I hear an inflated ego that is fighting against the imposter behind the scenes, trying to convince themselves and everyone around them that they're worthy.

The thing about imposter syndrome is that it comes disguised in many different ways and most people, at some point in their life, have felt it.

I, myself, have felt like an imposter.

When I was a corporate executive, I thought maybe I was just lucky ...maybe that's why I rose so quickly up the corporate ladder - not my intellect, my ability to turn things around, connect with people and produce results. No, maybe it was dumb luck. When, at 40, I decided to transform my career from corporate executive to professional leadership coach, again these feelings came creeping up. Who was I to enter the world of psychology, neuroscience and coaching at this stage in my career? Would I be able to figure this out or would this be when my luck finally ran out?

Here is what I want you to know about imposter syndrome:

Everyone experiences feelings of self-doubt. You are NOT unique (at least not as it pertains to this). That person that you admire and think they surely do not experience this inner dialogue, they do too. Trust me. It's part of the human experience.

Your Imposter may be here to stay. While you may find strategies to quiet it down, getting rid of it entirely may not be possible and that's ok. Our goal is not to banish it forever (that's a sure way to keep it around). The goal is to bring awareness to it so we recognize it for what it is.

You don't have to believe your Imposter. When you consider the fact that one of the most brilliant minds of all time, Albert Einstein himself, suffered from imposter syndrome, that surely is enough evidence that your Imposter is full of boloney.

It does not go away as you get more successful. In fact, it might get a bit louder. Often people believe that they simply haven't accomplished enough and those with more money, power, prestige, fame or achievements, surely don't doubt their talents and potential. Not so. As you achieve more, you might find that your experience of imposter syndrome becomes even more intense. It's not about the external, it's an inner phenomenon.

Our culture, upbringing and evolutionary wiring support imposter syndrome. We teach our children from an early age not to brag, be modest and play down achievements. For hundreds of years, we depended on our tribe for survival - anything that had us stand out (even talents and skills), might result in our expulsion and inevitable death. In our society, some are valued over others and those perceived as less than or underrepresented often feel like an imposter when they experience success. In other words, much of our history and experience has reinforced the imposter syndrome in us.

What should you do when you have feelings of being out of your depth or of getting discovered?

1. Acknowledge it for what it is, simply a thought. Not truth, not fact, simply a creation of your mind. #JUSTATHOUGHT

2. Collect and review positive feedback. Take a few minutes to collect a folder of positive feedback that you can read when these thoughts come up. This will remind you of your talents, skills and gifts. #IAMAWESOME

3. Talk about it with a friend, partner or coach. Naming it as your inner imposter voice and sharing your experience of it with a confidant can be helpful. It allows you to separate yourself from the experience of it. #SHAREIT

4. Consider reframing it as a sign that you are on the right direction, growing and learning something new. It becomes a signal that you are stretching and growing as a human. If you don't feel it, maybe you're playing too small. #REFRAMEYOURIMPOSTER

5. Take action based on purpose and meaning. When we are fully engaged in our thoughts of imposter syndrome, we are entirely focused on ourselves. Switch your focus towards the impact you want to have. Think about the positive difference you want to make, the impact on those you are serving and the purpose of your work and efforts. #FOCUSONPURPOSE

6. Adopt a curious mindset. When we commit to learning, we are less likely to feel like an imposter. We let go of the need to know, the requirement to be right and to have all the answers. Instead, we embrace experiencing new things, considering different perspectives, collaborating with others and appreciating our fumbles. #STAYCURIOUS

Best,

Lisa

Lisa is an Executive Coach, Founder & CEO of LDR Leadership Labs. For more from Lisa, join the LDR Leadership Community on LinkedIn at: www.linkedin.com/company/ldrleadershiplabs and sign up for the LDR Insiders Newsletter here.