The Right Way Forward
I often work with professionals that are at a crossroads. They’re ready for a professional change, but are unsure where to focus. They have some ideas, but they come to coaching to decide unequivocally how to move forward so they can double down their efforts in that direction.
When I tell them that the feeling they are seeking is an imaginary concept and not how life works, they look skeptical.
Here’s the problem with the idea that we need to know something without a shadow of a doubt to ensure it’s the right choice.
Let’s start with what is doubt.
Doubt is a thought that crosses our mind in a moment in time. In that moment we have a choice:
allow the thought to simply pass through giving it little to no added attention, or
catch on to it believing that the thought means something concrete and true, and hence needs further analysis and consideration.
If we choose option 1, well we’ll simply allow the thought to come and go and do what naturally occurs to us to do in the moment we’re living. No harm no foul.
If of course we believe that the mere fact the thought occurred to us means something, including that we need more focused and concerted thinking to figure out where we are going and how to get there, well then, we have set ourselves up for quite a ride.
Which brings us to thinking.
If we engage in focused thinking, because that’s what we believe is required, we initiate our capacity for critical analysis. And while useful in certain arenas, when it comes to decision making, what we’re actually engaging with is a never ending pros and cons argument that more often than not, keeps us in indecision instead of action.
We go out looking for trust in our decisions to move forward confidently, and what we find is further hesitation and insecurity; and so we face more confusion, not less.
New pros and cons may be uncovered through analysis, but rarely do they lead to a clear path forward, and even when they do, too often there’s still hesitation and a sinking feeling that we can stay in this whirlwind of indecision forever.
This is when I tend to ask clients to turn off their brain.
Once we’ve satisfied their need to critically think about the issue, we tap into another source of clarity. We tap into their inner knowing.
There’s several ways to tap into this, but they all point to the same thing, what a Scottish-born philosopher and author called, “a quiet mind and a beautiful feeling”.
Just as it’s hard to navigate the road through a snowstorm, it is also difficult to navigate life through the storm of our never ending thoughts.
And so, we allow our thoughts to settle in order for our knowing, that which is beyond our intellect, to speak to us.
After doing this with a multitude of clients all around world, one thing is consistent, our knowing simply knows.
There’s no debate. There’s no pros and cons. The answer is simple, clear and absolute.
I know the answer. I don’t know the answer. Simple. Clear. Nothing else to be said.
When you know, you know. Go do that because as far as I can tell some of the best and most successful businesses and leaders in the world, didn’t make great business cases. They never would have come to be if critical thinking were the only source of evalution.
When you don’t know, check in and see what would you love to do. Why not do that? Why would your personal desires and wants (coupled with a good dose of common sense which naturally occurs) lead you astray. Why would these innate occurring phenomenons, be any less valuable than a business case.
And if you don’t know what you’d love to do. Then wait. Wait until you do know. My experience is that in most cases, waiting is just as powerful, because inevitably, something happens and the decision is made for you or the answer simply occurs to you, out of nowhere, with no effort at all.
So take a look and question the true value of your critical thinking in decision making.
Is it the master of ceremonies guiding the events of your life, or is it simply the orchestra adding music to what life unfolds for you naturally.
It seems to me that we keep trying to hire it for the top job, and it keeps showing us that it’s not up for the job.
There’s a force much more powerful that already holds the title.
You, before your thinking.