Life is Simple
We forget that life is simple. Really simple. We forget because within our heads we encase the most powerful special effects machine ever created.
And so we complicate things. Innocently. Unconsciously. We fall asleep to the reality of life, creating spectacular motion pictures with plot twists, fight scenes and chilling suspense.
If you think I'm exaggerating, consider this.
Studies on split-brain patients have found that our left hemisphere—the seat of language and inner narration—will simply invent stories in the absence of data. Instead of saying “I don’t know,” even when it lacks any information to answer a question, it just makes something up and believes it as truth. This is both astonishing and revealing. In these studies, because the patients’ hemispheres couldn’t communicate with each other, researchers could give instructions to the right hemisphere and then ask the left hemisphere why the patient was performing a certain action. Deprived of the actual reason, the left hemisphere would confidently fabricate an explanation!
This is remarkable—it shows us just how powerful our brain is, and also how surprisingly unconcerned it can be with accuracy in a general sense. Our minds are masters at creating stories, whether or not they’re rooted in fact.
As David Bohm says, " Thought creates our world, and then says, 'I didn't do it!"
This became even more clear in a conversation I had yesterday with Mavis Karn, author of one of my favourite books: It's That Simple - A User's Manual to Humans.
I was asking her about habits. I wanted to understand how change really happens. With everything that’s been researched and written on habits, you’d think we’d all be experts— easily implementing new habits at will. But we don’t. Why is that?
Despite all the knowledge and strategies out there, most of us still struggle to make lasting changes or form new habits. I was curious about what makes habit change so challenging, even when we know exactly what we “should” do.
As I provided context for my question, she listened intently and asked, "What are habits to you?"
Oh, here’s my chance, I thought. I launched into a mini dissertation - sharing everything I knew about habits, the science behind them, what I understood from an inside-out perspective and all the things I’d tried. She looked at me, tilted her head, and kindly said, "Do you know that you overthink things?"
At first, I thought, wait a minute, I was simply sharing what I knew! But in an instant, I realized exactly what she meant. "Yes.", I replied.
"Oh good", she said with a smile. It's good to see that", she paused so her words would land.
After a long pause, she simply said, "Habits are a thought. That's it, just a thought. And if that thought doesn't feel good, you don't have to think it. It's as simple as that."
She took her time, gently explaining the simplicity of life. She shared a few examples of just how uncomplicated things really are, how we’re naturally equipped to handle whatever comes our way, and how, in truth, there’s nothing that needs fixing.
Here is my simple version of the beautiful conversation I had with Mavis.
We think. We feel these thoughts moment-to-moment. The feeling tells us if the thought is helpful. If it doesn’t feel good, the thought is unhelpful. If the thought feels good, the thought is helpful.
Just like the rumble strips on highways keep us in our lane, feelings tell us whether we've ventured off course. That's it. Stay in your lane, in the good feelings and everything else works out.
The main message was, follow the good feeling. There's nothing to fix. You are as perfect now as you were when you were born. Everything else is a thought, an unhelpful thought.
While her words rang true at one level, I could feel my brain fighting the simplicity of it all. How could you say that, I thought. There are habits that are good and habits that are harmful. Should we not try to change the bad ones?
Mavis kept pointing out how remarkably well we are made. She showed me a photo of herself where she was scratched up, bruised and battered after falling down the stairs. She explained that within months, everything had healed, without any intervention on her part. “Isn’t it incredible” she said, her 85-year-old eyes sparkling.
I found it hard to argue with her. She reminded me of Einstein quote, "everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.”
I can’t say that I “get it” completely yet. There are still habits that I wish I could change that seem to stick around. But I also understand that “these habits” I’m referring to are only a thought - this is the only form they can take. An organism that is not conscious of itself would not have any concept of having a “habit” - how could they? And so, does a habit exist? The answer must be no. They can only exist in our minds.
If Mavis were reading this, I could imagine the quizzical look she would give me. She would likely look at me, pause, and say: "It’s much simpler than that, Lisa. You’re overthinking it.
Habits are thought. If a thought feels good, enjoy it. If the thought doesn’t feel good, let it go. You’re out of your lane. Recalibrate and get back in your lane. It’s that simple.
What do you think? Could it be that simple? Are we complicating life and then attempting to fix problems we’ve self-created unknowingly?
As Mavis Karn writes in her book:
The only thing that can keep you from enjoying all that you already are is a thought. One thought, your thought. Not someone else’s thought. Your thought . . . Whatever thought you are thinking at the moment that feels more important to think than feeling grateful, alive, content, joyful, optimistic, loving and at peace. . . that’s the only thing that’s between you and happiness.
And guess who’s in charge of your thinking? Guess who gets to decide where your attention goes? Guess who gets to write, produce, direct and star in the moment you’re in the middle of? You! Just you. Not your past (stored thought), not the future ... not your parents ... or your friends ... or school or television or situations or circumstances or anything else. Just you.