What is Mindfulness?

What is mindfulness anyway? 

One definition is that mindfulness is:

“Paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally” Chade-Meng Tan, Search Inside Yourself

Let’s break this down.

“Paying attention ...on purpose...”

How often do you get lost in your thoughts? Your mind travels to the future or past? You’re listening to someone, and suddenly you notice that your thoughts have gone somewhere else, likely to what your response will be. 

How often do you pay attention so intently and purposefully that you don’t have any thoughts, you simply allow yourself to listen, watch and receive? 

Paying attention on purpose means directing your attention according to your conscious choice. It means choosing where you will focus your awareness and noticing your awareness slipping and bringing it back.

“...present moment...”

How often do you simply tune in to what you’re doing/experiencing in the moment? You listen, sense and feel that is happening now. 

When you’re in the shower, do you feel the water on you or are you thinking about what comes next? 

When you brush your teeth, do you sense the toothbrush in your mouth or thinking about what the day has in store for you? 

When you’re walking, are you thinking about your feet in your shoes or the breeze on your skin or are you deep in thought about the past or future? 

Present moment means really being in the here and now, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. 

“Non judgementally”

How often do you judge? When you looked in the morning today, did you judge yourself? 

When someone cut you off, did you judge them and make up who they are as a person? 

Mindfulness is about more than meditation. 

It’s a mental muscle that allows us to direct our attention in a purposeful and non-judgemental way to the present moment.  

And there’s are a multitude of research studies that have shown the beneficial effects of mindfulness on depression, anxiety, immune system, focus and memory. Neuroscience is beginning to help us understand these benefits more and more but here’s my personal experience.

Four or so years ago I was stressed, overwhelmed and frustrated. I was going through a tough time both personally and professionally. 

I was overwhelmed by motherhood, I was in the process of shedding my corporate identity, several of my relationships were strained, and my marriage was going through a rough patch.

It seemed like everything was going wrong. At least that was what I saw at the time. I kept thinking that I would feel better, once things got better.

Wow was I wrong.

What worked was committing to feeling better first. 

I started by paying attention to what brought me happiness and nourished my body, spirit and mind. I put myself first (as a mamma to 3 this was a hard one for me). I started taking impeccable care of myself, and stopped trying to please others.

One of the invaluable skills I developed during that tough phase was mindfulness. I started with short guided morning meditations. If felt awkward and strange and I wasn’t really sure I was “doing” it right, but over time I got the hang of it.

Today, I meditate daily for 10-15 minutes and stop to take conscious breaths throughout the day whenever I sense I need them. Just 3 deep conscious breaths can help.

The result has been astounding. I am happy, more connected with myself and others, I hardly ever get sick, and I feel grounded and at peace. 

Personally, introducing a daily mindfulness practice helped me become a more present mother, wife, daughter and coach.

Mental time travel is a valuable human skill that allots us many benefits; however, we spend too much of our waking hours worrying about the future and commiserating about the past. Training your brain to bring its awareness to the present moment is mental fitness we all would benefit from. 

For more about mindfulness, especially if you’re interested in the science behind the benefits of mindfulness, I suggested reading: Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body by Daniel Goleman & Richard J Davidson. 

Harvard Business Review’s mini book on Mindfulness is also a quick read and informative overview.