A Fresh Take on Confidence

Picture confidence as a vast ocean, with waves that rise and fall. At times, the water is calm and inviting, reflecting our inner strength and assurance. Other times, stormy currents may churn beneath the surface, showcasing the insecurities that can overwhelm us. However, what if we approached confidence not as a steady shoreline, but as an ever-changing tide influenced by our thoughts in the moment?

Let’s explore this fresh perspective with Sarah’s story**, a talented graphic designer. Sarah had always been praised for her creativity, yet she frequently found herself gripped by feelings of low confidence during client presentations. On one particularly challenging day, she arrived at a meeting feeling anxious and insecure, convinced that her ideas would be rejected.

As Sarah sat in the meeting room, the storm of self-doubt began to swirl. Thoughts like “What if they don’t like my designs?” and “I’m not good enough” crashed over her like turbulent waves. In that moment, she believed these thoughts and allowed them to dictate her feelings, leading her to present her work with hesitation. The clients sensed her unease, and the meeting didn’t go as she had hoped.

But what if Sarah had recognized that those anxious thoughts were simply transient waves passing through her mind? Instead of fighting against them or trying to suppress her feelings, she could have sat back and observed them, understanding they were just thoughts—temporary and neutral. By doing so, she would have created space for presence, where innate confidence emerges naturally with no effort required on our part.

Through this new lens, we begin to see that confidence is truly a thought experience. This realization may lead us to believe we need to learn how to effectively and permanently change our thinking. This is not true, and even if it were, anyone that has attempted to do this quickly realizes that we have some influence over our thinking but we certainly can NOT control our thinking.

Instead, what we can do is choose not to give insecure thoughts any additional weight. Like watching clouds drift across the sky, we can allow our thoughts to pass without attachment, knowing that they mean nothing about us or the circumstance that we find ourselves.

Over time, Sarah began to practice this approach. In her next presentation, she felt the familiar waves of insecurity rising, but instead of succumbing to them, she took a deep breath and reminded herself: “These thoughts are just passing. They don’t define me.” By observing her thoughts without judgment, she found herself much more present in her meeting, allowing her to naturally speak more freely and confidently.

The shift in Sarah’s perspective was profound. She learned that feelings of low confidence were simply her mind’s interpretation of fleeting thoughts. In recognizing this, she no longer felt overwhelmed by insecurity, understanding that everyone experiences such thoughts—like the ebb and flow of the tide.

What I’d love you to consider for yourself is that confidence is not a fixed trait but a dynamic experience shaped by our thoughts and perceptions.

By embracing the idea that our thoughts are temporary waves with no inherent power or truth, we can navigate the ocean of self-assurance with greater ease.

Just as the tide comes in and out, we, too, can learn to allow our thoughts to rise and fall without letting them define us.

And when they do impact us (because we’re human and that’s what happens sometimes), we know that it too shall pass. And before long our innate confidence reappears because it never went anywhere to begin with, it was simply underneath all the noise of our thinking quietly waiting for us to notice it’s had our back since the day we were born.

So the next time you find yourself caught in a storm of self-doubt, remember: you have the power to ride the waves and emerge stronger on the other side.

**name and details of this stories have been modified to protect privacy and confidentiality

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