Why it's time to embrace your feminine leadership

For a long time, like so many women, I felt trapped between what I wanted for myself and what others and society said I was supposed to be and do.

At work, I lived up to what I thought was the ideal image of a professional woman. 

I neglected my feminine side, leaned into my intellectual side and hid my silly and goofy-side, all out of fear that I wouldn’t be taken seriously (especially as a young female leader).

At home, having been raised in a traditional household, I attempted to equally live up to what I believed was expected of me as a mom and wife - ensuring that my house was tidy and meals healthy and home cooked. 

I didn’t stop to think what I actually wanted. 

I didn’t slow down to ponder what would bring me joy. I got stuff done. I rocked results at work and then came home and cooked dinners from scratch. I was really good at getting things done too. I was called superwoman much too often, and I wore that as proof that I had “figured it out”. 

I am not superwoman. 

What I lost in the process of this crazy race, was myself. 

I lost the ability to slow down and think about what I actually wanted.  I lost the connection to creating a life that was led by joy, passion and growth. 

This took its toll and there came a day when I simply could not live someone else’s life any longer. I had to stop, jump off the hamster wheel and ask myself, “what do I want my life to look like? How do I want to feel?, what will I regret?” “what legacy am I leaving for my children?”. 

I started there and made changes slowly and consistently. 

Step by step I took my life back. 

I released the expectation and started to create a life that I loved. The life I wanted for myself and not the one I believed others expected of me.

This is not easy. It means saying no, often to people you deeply love. It means letting others down. It means not living up to their expectations.

When I hear comments about my choices, they still sting sometimes. When I feel the urge to do something to live up to someone else’s idea of a career woman or a mom or a wife, I still need to catch myself from doing what came so naturally to me for so many years. 

I need to remind myself that this life is mine. That other people’s opinions are theirs to keep and not mine to embrace. That more often than not, other people’s opinion about what I should or should not be doing says more about who they are then who I truly am.

I need to remind myself to say yes to me!