There’s no trophy at the end for doing it solo

It was an honour to facilitate TMG’s Woman’s Mastermind yesterday. 

When I work with women leaders, balancing all that life throws their way and all that they carry, I often hear the same struggles:

1. I’m last on my priority list

2. I have a hard time asking for help

3. I’m trying to live up to a “perfect” identity and when I fall short, I judge myself (they don’t use the word perfect, but that’s what they mean)

Here’s what I tell them.

Making time for you is a choice. 

A muscle you flex and grow each time you decide to wake up early and dedicate an hour to you, every time you book a massage or a bubble bath and make it happen. It’s not about finding the time, it’s about booking the time into your schedule, honouring it as if it were a meeting with your most important client and then shutting everything off, (yes your phone too!) so that you can slow down, nourish and rejuvenate. ‘

No more excuses, book it and make it happen!

There’s no trophy at the end of this ride we call life for doing it solo. 

Even more importantly, how dare you rob those around you of the honour of helping you, of collaborating with you and co-creating something beautiful with you. It’s selfish. (tough love my beautiful friend  ). 

I know you can do it solo, but why would you want to? Life is sweeter when you have people around you to support you, help you and create with you. 

You don’t have all the answers and why would you want to anyway. Your success is better when you’ve achieved it with the help of others. 

Perfectionism is a sickness. 

One that we should all work to cure. Perfectionism, once touted as the right answer to the interview question; “what are your weaknesses?”, leads to unhappiness, stress and poor health.

Let’s all agree to stop saying we’re perfectionists like it’s a badge of honour. It’s not! 

Seriously, people like you more if you’re messy and don’t have it all put together, because guess what, none of us do!

Here’s the thing:

I don’t say this from a place of judgement. I say this because I’ve been there. I’m still there many days. I work hard daily to: 

1. Put myself first

2. Ask for help, and

3. Live up to being human in all its beauty and messiness 

Thank you to the phenomenal female leaders at work, in our communities and at home that carry so much and work so hard to make a difference. 

We need you to take care of yourself so that you can continue to make the incredible impact you are here to make.