Presence: How to Practice, learn more about it & refine it.
“Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily; even if you had no title or position.”
—Brian Tracy
I love this quote because it speaks to what I believe is the definition of leadership presence. That oh so intangible thing that you can feel when you're in the presence of and just as easily know when you are not.
Do you remember when we were allowed to be in a room full of people and by simply observing them for a couple of minutes, we could feel the strength of their presence and confidence (or lack thereof).
Gosh those were good times, weren't they?
Well, when we're allowed to be in a room with people again, once you've gone around hugging everyone to make up for lost time, try this out. Hang back, observe and see what you notice about people's presence. (Now remember, we've all been cooped up away from people for months so we may be a bit rusty)
In any event, it's surprising how much you can notice from just sitting back and taking note.
What you're picking up on is what Sandy Pentland of MIT calls "honest signals" - the unconscious and non verbal language that expresses presence.
If you're told you have 'presence' - good for you my friend, go on with your bad self. It'll pay you dividends professionally and personally for years to come.
If however you have a hard time regulating your emotions, either speak up too much or too little in meetings, have a hard time connecting with others, fidget or ramble and have a tendency to take the comfortable road over the courageous one, your presence likely needs some work. That's totally ok and good to know.
The good news is that presence can be practiced and learned.
The bad news, or at least the requirement, is that you be honest about your current impact, willing to put in the effort to change your actions and open to trying new things.
A client of mine, a VP at a financial services company, received feedback from his team that while they respected his expertise and knowledge, his leadership presence was lacking. We worked on developing 3 core areas.
1. We looked at how he regulated emotions. His issue wasn't that he was erratic or showed signs of frustration or stress, but rather that he seemed entirely unattached to emotion, which people saw as robotic and untrusting. We practiced bringing awareness to his emotion in the moment, naming it and expressing it in a manner that was congruent with his body language and aligned with his intentions.
2. We took note of his body language and his non-verbal cues and practiced ones that made him feel confident, were aligned with the person he wanted to be and communicated openness (a core value of his). We also worked on raising his social awareness so that he could better understand his impact on others and ensure it was aligned with what he was intending impact.
3. We evaluated his professional relationships and took concrete steps to strengthen his individual interactions with his team, colleagues and boss. We worked on undersatnding how the brain works in relationship and how to best connect and interact with others.
He was able to bring awareness to habitual behaviours that were not helpful and change them over time to ones that were more aligned with the leader he wanted to be.
Are you looking for more resources on how to learn more about your own presence? Check out Amy Cuddy's New York Times best selling book Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self To Your Biggest Challenges, or her well-known Ted Talk Your Body Language May Shape How You Are. Also, I encourage you to have a look at more leadership content here: https://ldrleadershiplabs.com/resources. I share a variety of my favourite books, podcasts, tv & documentaries that have help leaders find more meaning, impact and connection.
Best,
Lisa