Is Change Really This Easy?

We've all been there. New Year's resolutions abandoned by February, gym memberships gathering dust, and self-help books left half-read on our nightstands. The struggle to change seems universal, leaving many of us wondering: why is personal transformation so darn difficult?

But what if we've been looking at change all wrong? What if lasting transformation isn't about gritting our teeth and powering through, but instead about shifting our perspective in a fundamental way?

The Myth of Willpower

For years, we've been sold the idea that change is all about willpower. Just try harder, we're told. Stick to your habits for 21 days, and they'll become second nature. While this advice isn't entirely wrong, it often leaves us feeling like failures when we inevitably slip up.

The truth is, willpower fluctuates. Relying solely on it is like trying to run a marathon on willpower alone – you're bound to run out of steam eventually.

The Reality Shift

Here's where things get interesting. What if change doesn't have to be a constant battle? What if it could happen in an instant, almost effortlessly?

This might sound too good to be true, but many people have experienced exactly this kind of transformation. They describe it as a sudden shift in perception – as if they're seeing the world through new eyes. Suddenly, their old habits no longer make sense, and change happens naturally.

The Power of Insight

This type of effortless change often comes from a deep insight – a new understanding about ourselves or the world around us. It's not about forcing new behaviors, but about seeing things differently.

For example, someone might struggle for years to quit smoking, trying every willpower trick in the book. Then one day, they have an insight about how smoking doesn't actually relieve stress but creates it. Suddenly, the desire to smoke vanishes.

Embracing Fluidity

One powerful insight that can lead to effortless change is understanding the fluid nature of our perceptions. Our thoughts and feelings are constantly changing, like clouds passing through the sky. When we grasp this, we become less attached to any particular state of mind, making change feel less daunting. We realize that no matter what we may be feeling in the moment, we don’t have to do anything to change it, console it or heal it. It passes naturally with no interference from us required.

So, Is Change Really This Easy?

Well, yes and no. The shift itself can be instantaneous and effortless. But cultivating the conditions for insight to occur takes patience and openness. Perhaps the frustrating part is that we can’t will ourselves to an insight. It’s not up to us when a new way of looking at things will occur. It happens when it happens and while this may take a bit of pressure off, it also requires some humility to accept. We can become more aware of our thoughts and perceptions, but we can’t decide unequivocally when things will change.

This approach to change isn't about adding more to our to-do lists or forcing ourselves to adopt new habits. Instead, it's about understanding ourselves better and allowing change to happen naturally.

This may sound like the “lazy” way to change, but if the “active” way worked we wouldn’t need so many books, podcasts, articles and blogs about change. The “active” way simply gives us something to do, and works just long enough that when it stops working, we blame ourselves for not having enough willpower, and the cycle or effort and regret continues.

Embracing a New Approach

While traditional methods of change have their place, exploring this inside-out approach can open up new possibilities. It invites us to trust in our innate capacity for insight and growth, rather than always looking for external solutions.

So the next time you're struggling with change, take a step back. Instead of asking, "How can I force myself to do this?" try asking, "What am I not seeing about this situation?" You might be surprised at how easy change can be when it comes from a genuine shift in perspective.

You might also try to simply ground yourself in presence and being, instead of thoughts, concepts and feelings. The former has us live from a place of inner peace and guidance and the latter has us react to whatever conceptual reality we’ve conjured up in the moment.

Remember, the most profound changes often happen not when we're trying our hardest, but when we finally let go and allow our understanding to deepen naturally. And that, in its own way, is pretty easy after all.